We are often told of the evils of anger, yet anger is a God given emotion, and in itself is not a sin. How we react to our anger is what makes the difference. Admittedly for me especially in my younger years, my reaction to anger was volatile. In recent years, with God’s help, my reactions have generally changed to responses.
Yesterday one of my devotional readings was Psalm 4:4-“Don’t sin by letting anger control you. Think about it overnight and remain silent.” (NLT) I looked up The Message paraphrase of the verse, “Complain if you must, but don’t lash out. Keep your mouth shut, and let your heart do the talking. Build your case before God and wait for His* verdict.” [*capitalization mine]
How I wish I had read this verse early in my marriage. Instead I heard the adage, “Don’t go to bed angry”, which to me meant to resolve the problem before going to bed. This of course usually led to a heated confrontation with no resolution.
When I thought about writing about anger I decided to try to find the origin of that old adage. Interestingly I found the cite, “Ask Moses” which cites the Talmud (an ancient compilation of Rabbinic law, commentary and analysis, 200 BCE-427 CE). “The Talmud1 relates that Rabbi Nechunia Ben Hakanah and Rav Huna never went to sleep before forgiving anyone who wronged them.” They go on to cite, “the Kitzur Shulchan Aruch (Abridged Code of Jewish Law) it says:
"...a person should forgive any colleague who wronged him, so that no other person will be punished because of him… One should repeat three times: "I release all those who caused me distress." Afterwards, one should recite the prayer: Ribono shel olom, hareini mochel... (Master of the world, behold, I forgive...)."2
I admit, I love research and history, but that is not the only reason I cited the above. I found these quotes significant because it helps me understand the context of Paul’s words to the Ephesians, ““In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.”
I loved the idea of my bedtime routine including, “I release all those who caused me distress.” Releasing those who caused me distress at the same time releases ME from the distress of carrying grudges. But read on to find the beautiful prayer whose first words are cited above.
“Master of the world; Behold, I forgive anyone who angered or antagonized me, whether it was directed toward my body or my money or my honor or anything which belongs to me. [I forgive them] Whether the action was performed by total accident or willingly or through neglect or through premeditation, whether it was done through speech or physical action... may no person be punished because of me."
May we all learn to respond to our anger rather than react. May we also learn to release those who cause us distress, allowing the Lord’s peace to take the place of that distress.
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